Nothing

...

Dark. Bleak. Dim. I love situation like this when I don’t have to separate the thing which one is real and which one is unreal. Because it is hard to see. It is hard indeed but it’s not impossible. Some people whose eyes like mine and my friends’ can still see because our eyes are not covered with lies.

It is very quiet. Peaceful. Nobody talks. Nobody screams. What I can hear is only Judy’s breath. Even in her sleep, Judy doesn’t make noise. And I can hear Joan’s snore. I approach her bed and see that she is smiling. I check on the door and make sure it is locked.

I tiptoe to Judy’s bed. I caress her hair and kiss her forehead. “Judy, wake up,” say I. “Hey, Judy. Wake up. Let’s go.” I keep trying to wake her up. She opens her eyes. A little bit swelling but still there’s no lie I can detect. “Come on. Get up!” ask me.

“We’re going to go out of here. Are you ready?”. She remains silent. I think she hesitates.

“It is okay, Judy. Trust me. You’ll be fine. You just don’t have to say anything. You have to keep in silence like you used to be. I know those unreal people hurt you. I’ll save you. You believe me, don’t you?,” she nods and gets up.

I seat her on the cold, pale floor she used to sit down. “We’ll meet soon, Judy. In the world where nobody lies. Where nobody talks and cannot stop.” I smile and caress her hair once again.

I grab her bunch of hair and hit her head to the wall. One. She doesn’t say any word. Two. She remains silent. Three. She only moans. Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. She closes her eyes. There are blood stains on the wall. Red. I peek to Joan’s bed. She is still snoring. Loud. Mary still falls asleep.

Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. I no longer hear Judy’s breath. I no longer feel her heart beating. I smile. Judy is free now.

I take a pillow from Judy’s bed. I’m coming towards Joan. I caress her hair and kiss her forehead like I did to Judy. I smother her face with the pillow. She seems suffocating. But, no, she doesn’t. I know exactly that at the beginning liberation is painful, but the rest is peaceful. I push down the pillow harder. She cannot remain motionless. Her feet are kicking. But her arms do not move. She hugs her doll tightly to her chest. I press the pillow until Joan no longer makes any move. I remove the pillow. Joan’s eyes are open. Her lips form a beautiful smile. She is free now. “See you soon, Joan.”

Mary is standing behind me. I smile, so does she. When I am walking to her, I can hear the sound of steps approaching. I can hear the sounds of people talking. Is it real or not?

I panic.

Mary doesn’t smile anymore. She looks sad. Her eyes looks like she is saying, “don’t leave me! Don’t leave me! Take me out.” But I don’t have much more time. Those devils are coming.

“Save your own life, Mary. Save!”

I go to my bed. Those people in white shirts enter our room.

I take the pencils. I stab them to my eyes.

I can hear the vague scream from Mary.

 
Then everything turns black.



Agustina Pringganti


She writes mostly in Bahasa Indonesia and is a huge fan of SGA. For her, writing in English is as challenging as cooking a new recipe using new cooking utensils in a new kitchen. For the time being, learning and practicing a lot are two things she is doing until later she’ll eventually taste the better sensation out of it.